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This could qualify as the best day ever for Wiese family in Norfolk! Why? Jillian would say so because The Lion King
comes out on BluRay, and Justin would say because the new iPhone is being unveiled.Okay, lame reasons to say it is the best day ever, but it's kinda fun to know that these two "important" things are happening on the same day.]]>
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"God has gathered many talented musicians at Immanuel at this point in time," said Rev. Justin Wiese, the pastor of Immanuel. "To be able to share our God-given gifts and talents of music with the greater community of Madison and surrounding area is something that we feel God is calling us to do."
"The Estey pipe organ in the Center is a joy to play, and a wonderful instrument to listen to," said Iris Frey Doolittle, organizer of the event. "While the Estey organ physically takes center stage, all of the music by our performers will be at the heart of the afternoon."
Immanuel Lutheran Church is providing an opportunity to promote 'culture' and 'community' within our hometown," said Jeanne M. Reigle, president of Preservation Madison Inc. "The PMI board of directors applauds the combined talents of local musicians & artists, churches, schools, civic organizations, and community supporters who desire our citizens gain a deeper understanding of the crucial role of music and arts in community development. Fostering a 'creative atmosphere' spurs economic growth, builds community identity and pride, and leads to positive community norms, such as diversity, tolerance, and free expression."
Following the approximately one-hour concert, a selection of desserts will be served for all in attendance to enjoy. Tours of the Historic Presbyterian Community Center will also be available following the concert. A free-will offering will be gathered during the afternoon, with funds raised to support the ministries of Immanuel Lutheran Church and the operating expenses of Preservation Madison, Inc.
The public is encouraged to attend, and to bring their family and friends. "We hope to have a great turn out of people from Madison, the surrounding area, and visiting Madison alumni who will be home for the weekend basketball tournament on Friday & Saturday," said Doolittle.
"It's pretty simple. If you enjoy music, come for the music. If you enjoy desserts, come for the desserts. If you enjoy both music & desserts, then you're really going to love the afternoon," said Pastor Wiese, with a smile.]]>
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View all Norfolk events on Eventful]]>
I'll be missing you 'til I see you again, Ben.
http://www.kwwl.com/global/video/popup/pop_playerLaunch.asp?vt1=v&clipFormat=flv&clipId1=4459076&at1=News&h1=RAW: Wartburg news conference regarding Ben Larson's death&flvUri=&partnerclipid=]]>
Bishop Dave deFreese challenges his fellow Lutherans to “do mission” in 2010. He also says Lutherans should “look forward, not back,” and addresses the actions of some in response to Churchwide Assembly’s decisions regarding human sexuality and ordination.
Check out Bishop Dave's message via video at:
http://site.nebraskasynod.org/2010/01/top-stories/we-do-mission-video]]>
Check it out here.]]>
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http://tinyurl.com/mqodx6
The one question is: In your opinion, what's the MAIN reason why only six in ten ELCA-primary health plan members are taking the Mayo Clinic Health Assessment — despite a $100 incentive?
The ELCA Board of Pensions is trying to figure out why this is, and they need your help, so please share your insights with them and click the Done button when you are....done, I guess.
And then send this link on to all of your friends, enemies, and frenemies.
Thank you!]]>
is running what I consider to be some pretty good DVD specials right now. While you think times may be tough, you know you want to own the latest season of Heroes and Lost. Order or pre-order now, and you'll be all set, especially when there is free super-saver shipping to be had on orders over $25.]]>
(or watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjxCSIphoeo)
It's good to see some Churchwide communications and web people dancing it up! Rizzo in the hizz-ouse!
Sadly, this video reinforces just how "white" the ELCA is. :-)
Also, I appreciate a Lutheran pastor who can disco dance with one hand while a coffee mug is in the other hand. At least it better be a Lutheran pastor....if that guy's Methodist...oh wait, Methodists don't dance, do they? :-)]]>
Since I couldn't find a summary like what I was looking for on elca.org, I thought I'd give the ELCA Churchwide Organization a phone call and see what I could find out.
In a brief phone conversation with ELCA News Director John Brooks, I was informed that the news staff hopes to have summaries available by the end of the week for sure, and if things go well, by the end of the day on Wednesday, August 26.
These summaries will be made available online only, and can be found at:
http://www.elca.org/assembly/summary
The Nebraska Synod Communications Staff produced a one-page review that was available early morning on Saturday, August 22, which doesn't touch on everything, but hits most of the highlights through Friday. This can be found online at:
http://fillspillthrill.org/2009/08/churchwide-assembly-2009-review/
and as a PDF at
http://fillspillthrill.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/churchwideassembly_review1.pdf
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I need a new car. Thanks for your help!]]>
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Greetings communicator friends,
Last week (Thursday, June 25), a well-meaning ELCA member circulated an e-mail with the title "WARNING: ELCA National Website Infected by Malicious Code" The ELCA.org Web site was being blocked by his employer and he assumed the worst. When notified by the member, our IT department examined our servers and found them to be clean. They then worked with his employer to undo the blocking.
The moral of the story: let us know immediately if you get suspicious warnings or have problems with ELCA.org For minor problems use the www.elca.org/contactus page to send a note or submit a comment. For what looks like a serious problem please call the 800/638-3522 and a Resource Information Staff person will connect you to the right person.
On this topic, please DON'T send alarming e-mails to others or forward said e-mails. Apparently the note from last Thursday is still circulating. If you get a copy, don't forward it further, instead, reply with a copy of this note. If you have questions, please feel free to contact me.
Thanks, Paul Edison-Swift
ELCA Communication Services, 800/638-3522 x2946]]>
Below are the questions that voting members were asked to consider. Before each response, which the voting members could have chosen, is the number of votes that each response received.
Sense of the Assembly Survey
Question 1: As to the question of same gender relationships, I believe that:
213 votes--the church should definitely not approve of same gender relationships.
89 votes--while I personally disapprove of same gender relationships, I could accept the church recognizing such relationships
39 votes--I don't have a sense of God's will on this.
130 votes--while I accept same gender relationships, I can see how the church would not approve of such relationships.
163 votes--the church should definitely approve of same gender relationships.
Question 2: As to the question of rostering persons in a same gender* relationship, I believe that:
259 votes--the church should definitely not roster persons involved in same gender relationships.
61 votes--while I personally disapprove of same gender relationships, I could accept the church's rostering persons involved in such relationships.
37 votes--I don't have a sense of God's will on this.
128 votes--while I accept same gender relationships, I can see how the church would not roster persons involved in such relationships.
150 votes--the church should definitely roster persons involved in same gender relationships.
*when used refers to "publicly accountable life-long, monogamous same gender relationships."]]>
I need you to vote every hour for the picture of my mom & dad on their bright yellow 2001 Honda Gold Wing Trike.
If this picture wins, the prize awarded is $50. Not a lot of money, but remember, our news media outlets tell us that times are tough, so help me out and vote early and often! Thank you!]]>
•Friday night Bible dates (Argentina)
•Gifts of hospitality, harvest, and thanksgiving (Tanzania)
•Why do we have missionaries in Germany? (Germany)
•Influenza epidemic doesn't stop ordination celebration (Mexico)
•Amazing grace (Hong Kong)
•The power of the spoon (U.S., Cameroon)
•Stories from Nepal
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Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
The summit is a partnership between the Kenya Evangelical Lutheran Church and the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. This is the second summit of its kind, the previous peace summit was held in Rwanda in 2008 hosted by the Lutheran Church of Rwanda.
Check out this web site, see this linked brochure, and tell the stories of how the ELCA is reaching across continents.
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The intent of the guide is to aid Lutheran congregations as they discuss difficult issues related to the war in Iraq. The resource guide is divided into five sections: moral deliberation, role in nations, current situation in Iraq and U.S. policy, challenges of global terrorism and group reflection. Each section includes discussion questions and allows for further insight.
"Peace, Conflict and Public Church: A Case Study on the Future of Iraq" is available through Augsburg Fortress, Minneapolis, the publishing ministry of the ELCA.
Questions? Contact Jodi Deike, ELCA Director for Grassroots Advocacy and Communication, jodi.deike@elca.org or 202-626-7947.
Helpful Web Links
Peace, Conflict and Public Church: A Case Study on the Future of Iraq
http://tinyurl.com/cz4hpj
ELCA News Blog on release of Iraq Study Guide
http://tinyurl.com/cjvnnj
ELCA Washington Office
http://www.elca.org/advocacy
Augsburg Fortress
http://www.augsburgfortress.org]]>
Are you in need of financial assistance to attend this gathering?
The ELCA Washington Office is offering a limited number of scholarships for this event. Applications are being accepted now until May 29, 2009. Go to www.elca.org/advocacy to download the application.
Scholarships will be awarded immediately until June 8, funds permitting, and be processed as a reimbursement. The amount reimbursed will be for both the "2009 Gathering that includes 35th Anniversary Dinner and Lobby Day" option and three nights housing on the American University campus.
Questions? Contact Jodi Deike, ELCA Director for Grassroots Advocacy and Communication, at jodi.deike@elca.org or 202-626-7947.]]>
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The Rev. Deena Lohmeyer Laird |
Clergy are invited to vest and process. The color for the day is white.
Rev. Deena Lohmeyer Laird, 53, of Arenzville, died Tuesday, April 22, 2009, at Passavant Area hospital in Jacksonville. She was born August 9, 1956, in Washington, Missouri, the daughter of Dean and Gladys Steinberg Lohmeyer. She married David Laird on May 20, 1983, at the Church By The Side of the Road in Rockton, Illinois, and he survives.
She is also survived by one son, Nathan (fiancé, Sheena Bredeson) Laird of Rockford, Illinois; two step-children, Chris Krause of South Beloit, Wisconsin and Matthew (wife, Staci) Laird of Portland, Oregon; her mother, Gladys Lohmeyer of Washington, Missouri; three step-grandchildren, Tucker Krause, Gavin Laird, and Trevin Laird; and two brothers, Jim Lohmeyer of Rockton, Illinois and Marty (wife, Chris) Lohmeyer of Washington, Missouri. She was preceded in death by her father.
Deena was born and raised in Washington, Missouri, and attended the University of Missouri at Columbia and later graduated cum laude from Upper Iowa University. She was employed as advertising manager for Taylor Freezer Company in Rockton, Illinois where she met and married her husband. In 2003 Deena enrolled in Wartburg Seminary in Dubuque, Iowa and in 2007 received her Masters of Divinity. She was ordained at Atonement Lutheran Church in Beloit, Wisconsin, and became pastor of St. Peter’s Lutheran Church, Arenzville and St. John’s Lutheran Church, Bluffs in August of 2007.
Deena was a kind and loving person whose life revolved around her family and church. Prior to entering the ministry, Deena was actively involved in her church as a youth group and Vacation Bible School leader. Her home was always open to anyone. She treasured her time spent with family, and enjoyed her role as spectator at her family’s golf outings.
In lieu of flowers, memorials are suggested to St. Peter’s Lutheran Church, Arenzville. Condolences may be left online at www.airsman-hires.com]]>
“I Love to Tell the Story: My ELCA” will allow 15-minute time slots to sit down and share your memories, thoughts, frustrations, and joys of the first 20 years of the ELCA. As part of the larger Voices of Vision oral history project, the archives is looking for congregational members to talk about their congregations, their synods, their social ministry organizations, their colleges, their seminaries, and their work in the ELCA and in God’s world.
Go to our website for more information about how to participate (http://www.elca.org/Who-We-Are/History/ELCA-Archives/I-Love-To-Tell-The-Story.aspx) or contact the archives (archives@elca.org or 1-800-638-3522, x2818). We hope to hear your story!]]>
Today, I had the time to look it up on YouTube. I found find it, along with the original video.
Here it is:
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From WJAG.com...
NORFOLK - Although attendance was down about 10 percent from 2007, organizers of a household hazardous waste collection over the weekend in Norfolk are pleased. City Solid Waste Director Gary Lund says about 340 vehicles brought the products to the collection on Saturday at Ta-Ha-Zouka Park. He tells WJAG NEWS they filled 33, 55-gallon drums full of paint and toxic chemicals, collected 40 pounds of prescriptions drugs, took in 12,000 pounds of television and computer equipment. Lund says in all 15.5 tons of waste was collected and won't be going to the landfill.]]>
View all four of the new ads here.]]>
Dave Winslow measures the snow..or lack thereof
Oh Dave...how very different my morning routine would be without your whimsical nature to brighten my day!
Hopefully Dave & his bride Tia had a lovely wedding day today! Congratulations!
I'm such a fan...or is that pronounced stalker? It's hard to tell...]]>
It is very appropriate to review this, pending what we will hear in our gospel reading tomorrow morning:
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BEN: [Blows out a candle] Thomas the Apostle. When Jesus wanted to return to Judea, knowing that he would probably be murdered there, Thomas said to the others, "Let us also go, that we might die with him." But Thomas was not remembered for this bravery. His claim to fame came later... when he refused to acknowledge the resurrection. He just couldn't wrap his mind around it. The story goes... that he needed to touch Jesus' wounds to be convinced.
JACK: So was he?
BEN: Of course he was. We're all convinced sooner or later, Jack.
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Please help Annie out and vote for her so she can win!
At the South by Southwest Interactive Festival, I recorded a one-minute pitch for this Pepsi contest, where they're going to give the winner $4,500. We had to pitch what we would do with the money to advance social good.My pitch was to develop an iPhone app for the KaBOOM! Playspace Finder, which would increase the number of entries we receive and make the resource even more valuable for everybody. And as it turns out, I am one of the 20 finalists!
Help us get some seed money for new features for the KaBOOM! Playspace Finder by voting for my pitch! You can vote as many times as you want between now and next Monday (April 20).
VOTE HERE! A lot!
And feel free to pass this on! Tell your friends!
Thank you!]]>
April 2009Dear Friend:
Ever since the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) announced the closing of the Grace Matters radio and web ministry, I have been deluged with mail. The massive outpouring of love and appreciation has been extraordinary—grace upon grace, really. It is more than my little inbox can handle.
If you are unaware of this recent news regarding Grace Matters’ final broadcast on Easter Sunday, the April issue of the Lutheran magazine includes the story, whose more expanded web version is included at the bottom of this letter.
Unfortunately, I was never consulted—let alone visited with—about a decision that affects the hundreds of thousands of listeners whom I asked to personally support this ministry. It was a decision made very suddenly, effectively eliminating any opportunity to retain precious radio station airtime slots and permanently dispersing vast networks of supportive listeners. The decision was made by a couple of ELCA executives.
Many of you have asked what you can do, given this news. If you want to express what this program has meant to you, you may wish to share your comments with ELCA Bishop Mark Hanson and copy them to Wyvetta Bullock, ELCA Director for Administration, and Kristi Bangert, ELCA Director for Communication Services, at the same address. While your expression will not change a decision that is final, it may encourage more thoughtful and more broad-based decision-making in the church’s future.
Rev. Mark Hanson
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
8765 W. Higgins Rd.
Chicago, IL 60631
bishop@elca.org | Kristi.Bangert@elca.org | Wyvetta.Bullock@elca.org
Thank you for your marvelous support of Grace Matters. Some of you have asked about my own life after Grace Matters. It is full of edifying work. I continue to serve as senior pastor of St. Paul Lutheran Church, Davenport, IA, and I write and publish whenever I find the time. I do hope that our lives can cross again in the future, if not over radio or web, then in person or in print. Please understand if I cannot respond to most correspondence. There is no lack of desire or affection on my part; it is simply a matter of available time.
Keep cherishing the important things in life. Chances are good that those very things have some link to the grace of God we know best in Jesus Christ.
Peter W. Marty
'Grace Matters' canceled
Part of $1.5 million churchwide cuts
In early Februrary, ELCA Communication Services canceled Grace Matters, the ELCA radio ministry that has existed since 1947. Host Peter W. Marty called it "a sad day for hundreds of thousands of listeners."
The last program will air on Easter Sunday, April 12, on roughly 185 stations.
Kristi Bangert, CO executive director, said the cut was part of a process shared by every ELCA unit in exploring churchwide priorities. Asked if the decision was a reaction to a current budget concern or a contingency plan for further economic troubles, she said, "Yes and yes."
"All executive directors were asked to look at every major budget line item and identify mission critical work. ... Every executive was told we've got to look at this and make changes strategically," Bangert said. "We can't do everything. We've been riding a high tide for a long time and just can't keep doing it all."
The decision is part of nearly $1.5 million in reductions from the 2009 churchwide budget. That includes "reducing program budgets in most units and eliminating a total of 11 full-time staff equivalent positions-of which 2.5 were vacant," said Wyvetta Bullock, executive for administration. In an e-mail to churchwide staff, Bullock called these "difficult decisions" and cited "the current economic volatility." She warned that further 2009 budget adjustments may be necessary.
Grace Matters relied on gifts to sustain its ministry, which covered more than half the expenses related to production, distribution and broadcast, Bangert said. CO covered the remaining costs, including staff salaries. In each of the last three years, the unit invested $160,000 to buy regular broadcast slots on 12 stations where ELCA congregations are being developed and in the Pacific Northwest.
Marty said he wasn't consulted before the decision was announced, and was told of the cancellation over the phone. "An internal churchwide memo indicated that Grace Matters was not a ‘strategic priority of the churchwide organization ...,' " he said. "It will be linked by some officials as a consequence of the economic downturn. But that's the excuse, not the cause. This decision to eliminate the radio ministry did not have to happen."
He said he would have suggested other ways of trimming the money CO spends on Grace Matters, even if it had meant letting some markets go.
"We brought in a heck of a lot of income to the ELCA to help fund this ministry¬-hundreds of thousands of dollars each year," he said. "Most ministries of the ELCA don't generate anything close to that kind of support. Precisely at a time when we need less denominational clubbiness, the ELCA has just lost a big piece of its public voice. Whole communities of interesting people across America who knew nothing about the ELCA came to know and discover the church through this program."
At presstime, Bangert said annual distributions of 4.5 percent from the radio ministry's $1.3 million permanently restricted endowment could be reassigned to another, similar ELCA ministry.
Cynthia Halverson, president of the ELCA Foundation, said a stipulation within endowment agreements reads that "in the event that this ministry (any of these ministries) shall cease to function over the years or become inoperative ... the Board of Trustees of the Foundation of the ELCA shall recommend a similar or complementary ministry to be the beneficiary of the Agreement."
Bullock said it was premature to discuss or announce any such ministry prior to this matter coming before the ELCA Church Council in late March.
Marty follows only a handful of others who have been the voice of the program, previously called Lutheran Vespers: Harry Gregorson (founder and host from 1947 to 1970), Conrad Thompson (1970 to 1982) and Richard Jensen (speaker and director from 1982 to 1993). Larry Gedde briefly hosted the program after Jensen. Walt Wangerin Jr. took over in 1994 and served for 10 years. When Marty started in 2005 the program's name and format changed.
"It was an extraordinary run," Marty said. "People of both stature and ordinariness, who might otherwise have had no contact with the ELCA or Lutheranism, have been program guests. U.S. senators and big city mayors, athletic superstars and big stage musicians, African-American heroes and poets, pastors to U.S. presidents and network news correspondents, Fortune 500 CEO's and genocide survivors, and great theological minds from across the spectrum all shared the grace of their lives with listeners in America and around the world."
Grace Matters has also aired in Australia, Denmark, New Zealand and Puerto Rico and is available on the Web.
"It's as if scores of people throughout our church have had one of the great rugs of meaning suddenly yanked right out from beneath their faith lives," Marty added.
The cancellation affects the jobs of two part-time contract staff and three full-time employees, including Susan Greeley, producer.
"The loss of jobs and the budget savings are miniscule compared to the loss our listeners will suffer. For many people, including the missionaries, this is their worship," Greeley said. "We've been a unique voice in a world that has way too much vitriol on the air. It was one of the few ways that people in the pew knew they were part of the larger church."]]>
The following message has been sent to synodical bishops and all rostered leaders. We are sending this to you as a point of information. You may share it with your networks as is appropriate.
Thank you.
Kristi Bangert
___________________
Grace to you and peace in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
The purpose of this e-mail is to provide information for you, as leaders in the ELCA, as you prepare for the Churchwide Assembly in August. Specifically, it informs you of the actions taken by the Church Council at its meeting on March 27-30, 2009, in relation to the work of the Task Force for the ELCA Studies on Sexuality. A full report on actions of the Church Council will be made available by the Office of the Secretary by April 1. The documents referenced here and further information will be available as of April 2 at the Faithful Journey Web site: www.elca.org/faithfuljourney.
Action on the work of the task force
On Saturday, March 28, the Church Council voted to transmit to the 2009 Churchwide Assembly "Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust" for consideration as a social statement of the ELCA. The approved text included a few amendments that were considered minor or editorial. The council also voted to transmit the implementing resolutions, one of which was amended, for the proposed social statement.
On Sunday, March 29, the council voted to transmit to the 2009 Churchwide Assembly the task force’s four resolutions of the recommendation relating to ministry policies. Again, the only amendments made were considered editorial or in keeping with the intent of the task force. All four of the suggested resolutions were considered individually by the council, as the task force recommended.
A full text of the amended documents will be available as of April 2 on the Faithful Journey Web site: www.elca.org/faithfuljourney.
Action regarding the voting rules of the 2009 Churchwide Assembly
Prior to every Churchwide Assembly, the Church Council recommends to the assembly proposed Rules of Organization and Procedure that, in addition to Robert’s Rules of Order, govern the ways that the assembly conducts its legislative business. The Churchwide Assembly at its first plenary session votes on its own rules.
Bylaw 12.12.01. of the Constitution, Bylaws, and Continuing Resolutions of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America specifies that a proposed social statement requires for adoption a two-thirds vote of those voting members present and voting at an assembly. At its November 2008 meeting, the Church Council did not recommend any rules that would affect the necessary margin of votes for other documents originating from a social statement task force.
In response to synodical resolutions, at its March 2009 meeting the Church Council considered whether to amend the rules that had been adopted previously. After extensive discussion, the Church Council voted against doing so. The vote was 10–21 with two abstentions, Presiding Bishop Mark S. Hanson and Secretary David D. Swartling.
Therefore, unless the Churchwide Assembly amends the proposed Rules of Organization and Procedure at its first plenary session, any implementing resolutions for the social statement or ministry policy actions will require a majority vote for passage, as specified in Robert’s Rules of Order.
A fuller explanation of the parliamentary process concerning the rules at the Churchwide Assembly will be posted on April 2 on the task force’s Web site.
What’s next?
The task force has finished its work, and any further comments on the documents should be directed to synods. Synods can speak to the Churchwide Assembly regarding the recommended proposed social statement, the implementing resolutions, or the ministry policy resolutions through memorials approved at synod assemblies.
Understanding and interpreting the work of the task force
The Faithful Journey Web site at www.elca.org/faithfuljourney provides a number of resources, including frequently asked questions and executive summaries, to aid in understanding the proposed social statement, implementing resolutions, and the ministry policy recommendation. Additional material will be published there in mid to late April. If you as a leader find there are questions that have not been addressed in the additional resources, please email the Church in Society studies staff at faithfuljourney@elca.org.
A note of appreciation for the task force
The Church Council also expressed profound appreciation to the members of the task force for their work and for modeling what it means to journey together faithfully.
May we, too, journey together faithfully.
David D. Swartling, secretary
March 30, 2009]]>
It's back, baby! The Lutheran Pool sponsored by FrontRowLutheran.com! Pick your brackets and see if you can win two fabulous prizes: one whole year of exclusive bragging rights AND a shout-out post right here on FrontRowLutheran.com.
While this contest is open to all, in order for you to play, you've got to be a member of Facebook.com (it's free, and seriously, if you're not on Facebook yet, then there probably is no hope that you ever will be).
If you're already on facebook, you should be able to join The Lutheran Pool Sponsored by FrontRowLutheran.com at this link.
Sign-up NOW! Your picks must be submitted by 11:00 AM ET on March 19, 2009.
Good luck!]]>
Since Concordia's new study bible is coming out after Augsburg Fortress' study bible, I'm going to have to say that Concordia appears to be copying somebody, but I just can't quite seem to put my finger on it...hmm.....]]>
Created by Train Horns
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In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.....Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore.
There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats.
Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
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Do you think this student should be confirmed? Umm...probably not....
Note: I did not actually receive this from a confirmation student as a final faith paper. I got it as a forewarded joke email, and after reading it, I sadly thought to myself, "Hmm...hopefully my confirmation students won't be handing in something like this...if so, I'm the worst teacher of confirmation students ever..."]]>
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This would be really fun to do, but I bet it is a lot harder to do than it looks.
wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.]]>
If Apple did make this thing, I would so NOT buy it...
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard]]>
I encourage everyone who has health insurance through the ELCA Board of Pensions to do this ASAP, so we all can save and earn some money. Thank you!
First Call Theological Education Nebraska Synod Folk:
Remember how Bishop deFreese told us that anyone on the ELCA Board of Pensions Health Plan who didn't take the 2008 Mayo Clinic Health Risk Assessment was a giant loser and should move to Central States Synod? Well, maybe he didn't say it exactly like that, but still....(Disclaimer: The addition of the move to the Central States Synod was a joke...learn to laugh, or bottle up all the anger and stress like I do...either way...) :-)
Now that 2009 is here, all of us first call pastors and our spouses (if they have health insurance through ELCA BOP) can take the 2009 Health Assessment online. This will earn you $100 personal wellness dollars for your personal wellness account (PWA).
There's also a big savings available to more than just you. The whole Synod can receive a discount as well.
Receiving the discount works the same as last year — each congregation and organization in our synod will receive a 2% discount on contributions once 75% of our eligible ELCA-primary plan members and spouses completes the health assessment.
If we achieve 75 percent health assessment participation by March 29 we’ll each receive a 2% discount for all of 2009; if we achieve it after March 29, we’ll earn the discount starting the month after we reach 75%. Needless to say, reaching the goal by March 29 will benefit us all the most.
The 2009 health assessment opens Jan. 1. If you have ELCA-primary health benefits, please plan to take 30 minutes Jan. 1 – March 29 to complete the assessment. If your spouse has ELCA-primary benefits, she or he should make plans too. It’s an act of stewardship for you and this church.
Want health assessment basics? Visit https://www.elcabop.org/UnderstandMyBenefits/Health/ELCAPrimary/HealthAssessment/Overview.aspx
You can log in to take the assessment at http://www.elcaforwellness.org
Please take the assessment now, or start packing your bags to move south. Thank you!
If you need help with the assessment, message me. If you need help moving, check and see if Travis Panning is available, since he is the chief defender of the Nebraska Synod southern border.
:-)]]>
I don't seem to really like those commercials.
]]>
Created by The Car Connection]]>
This week's teaser is so much fun that I thought I'd post it on FrontRowLutheran.com, and from now on, every week, I'll try and post each week's sermon teaser so that I have some fresh content on my blog on a weekly basis.
For Sunday, December 7, 2008: What does a panda have to do with the prophet Isaiah and John the baptizer? Come and join us for worship this Second Sunday of Advent, hear the prophets' call to "Prepare the way of the Lord," and discover a punctuative way to think about how you might welcome Jesus' arrival in your life this December.]]>
If you attend worship at an ELCA congregation that uses bulletin covers from Augsburg Fortress, you will notice that Immanuel was able to acquire advertising space for our soup dinner on your church bulletin this weekend. You will notice that Jesus is enjoying a tasty bowl of soup from Immanuel's soup dinner.
In case you do NOT use Augsburg's bulletin covers, here's what it looks like this weekend.
Jesus enjoying a bowl of soup from Immanuel's Soup Dinner
:-)]]>
Download/Print Off/Hang Up This Poster, and help Immanuel with its advertising campaign.
Learn more about Immanuel Lutheran Church in Madison, Nebraska.]]>
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Dear FrontRowLutheran.com readers,
Did you know that premature birth is the leading cause of newborn death in the first month of life? It affects half a million babies a year in the United States. Those who survive may have lifelong health problems. And premature births are on the rise - up 30% since 1981.
That is why I am asking you to support my friend Rev. Alena Lamirato in the March of Dimes Jail & Bail. She is participating in their Jail & Bail fundraiser. If she doesn't raise $1000 before next week, she's going to have to go and sit in "jail" until she can make "bail." America's prison population is growing fast enough the way it is. We don't need to make it worse by having Alena sit in jail forever. :-) Besides, the people of Alma Lutheran Church in Mead, NE, just might need their pastor that day...ya never know.
Premature birth can happen to any pregnant woman. In nearly half the cases, the causes are unknown. The March of Dimes is leading the way to find answers by supporting research into the causes of premature birth. Join in on the fight!
Your support helps fund:
-Research into stress and other factors that may trigger preterm labor.
-Programs to educate pregnant women to recognize the warning signs of preterm labor.
-Tools to help health care providers find better ways to detect women who may be at risk for preterm labor.
Please join in and help fight prematurity. Visit Alena's fundraising webpage and sign up as a sponsor in the Jail & Bail that saves babies!
Thank You!
You can donate to Alena's bail at http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/lamirato
March of Dimes Logo]]>
Unbeknown to be, (probably back when I was having feed problems several months ago) my trackable feedburner feed changed to a new URL. The old URL is still working, but I can't track subscribers and the like.
I would like to be able to track who's all subscribed to my blog if I could, so, if you wouldn't mind, do you think you could change the URL in your RSS feed reader for me?
If you would, please change your subscription to this feed:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/frontrowlutherancom
This is an addition of com at the end of the other feed.
For the rest of you who enjoy FrontRowLutheran.com in other ways, you shouldn't need to make any changes.
Thanks!]]>
From WJAG.com's news page....
DENVER (AP) - At least one official in Colorado is trying to lower expectations, saying don't expect final election results from the state today. A spokesman for the Denver Election Commission says processing paper and mail-in ballots takes time. He says the days of having "close to final results by 10 p.m. are over."]]>
The lady on the phone said, "Hold on. Let me check."
She then put me on hold for a moment, and then came back on the line and said, I kid you not,
"Is this a fiction book?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION!?!?!
AND THIS IS A CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORE!!! ACK!
They have two in stock.
I'm going to go down and pick one up.]]>
Taco Bell Promotion]]>
Picture of November 2008 The Lutheran Cover
And then, in the midst of this 2008 election season, with political TV ads rotting my brain and the like, I couldn't help but think that this cover kinda looks like this...
Paradoxical Obama on Cover of The Lutheran
The ELCA Churchwide offices are in Chicago, Illinois....and Barack Obama is the junior Senator of that fine state. Conspiracy? Coincidence? Who knows?
:-)
Just stick with the plan. If you vote Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart, we can have professional comedians running the White House, instead of Washington jokers.]]>
Immanuel Lutheran Church: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Back in January or February, one of the council members who had wanted to make it to the class that night but didn't had asked if what we had talked about would be made available somewhere else some other time. I said that I'd try and get it put up on YouTube as soon as I could.
Well, I guess October 3, 2008, was as soon as I could.
Here's the slides, but please note: what was true about "Today" in January 2008 is not necessarily the same in October 2008. Worship times, council members, and some other things may not be the same now as they were in January. So if you're wanting the most up-to-date information about Immanuel in the "Today" section, give me a holler, and I'll fill you in on what's the latest info.
Otherwise, enjoy the show!
]]>
During Apple's special event from a few weeks ago, when Steve Jobs unveiled new iPods and iTunes 8, there was a picture that he had up on the screen during his keynote that described how the new Genuis feature works.
While looking at the above picture, and realizing how the Genius feature actually works, I immediately thought to myself, "Isn't this how SkyNet gets developed in the Terminator storyline?"
I suppose it's just a matter of time before the millions of iPods around the world turn people into a bunch of metal skeletons who walk around, killing humans so that SkyNet a.k.a. the iTunes Music Store can rule the world.
Speaking of the Terminator storyline, I am not enthused that Heroes and Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles are both on at the same time tonight. Oh well. Guess I'm going to have to fire up the DVR AND the VCR. The joys of fall television programming....]]>
Check out the full story over on AppleInsider.com
That's ironic and sad at the same time.]]>
from the Amazon Video-on-Demand Store to not only take your mind off the market's woes, but to also discover a potential profit-making scheme for you and your friends.**Note: FrontRowLutheran.com does not guarantee or recommend any sort of success in the potential profit-making scheme which the movie 21 details.
]]>
This workshop is designed for people of European American descent who wish to stand as allies with communities of color as they take a stand against racism. More detailed information including the conference letter, registration form, and the draft by-laws are attached.]]>
1-2-3 Contact! Three ways to receive ELCA World Hunger Resources
You are welcome to receive personal copies of the semi-annual ELCA World Hunger Resource Packets and/or the quarterly issues of LifeLines, the ELCA World Hunger newsletter. There are three ways to request your free copies:
1. Visit www.elca.org/hunger/contact and fill out the online form.
2. Fax or mail a 1-2-3 Contact! form (the fax number and address are on the form). Find a 1-2-3 Contact! form on the back of the cover sheet of World Hunger Resource Packets; a downloadable form is online at www.elca.org/hunger/contact; you can request copies to distribute by calling 800/328-4648 (AF order number 978-6-0002-2044-0; 1 pkg = 25 forms); or visit http://tinyurl.com/123ContactForm
3. Call 800/638-3522, ext. 2764, for personal assistance.
To receive a sample copy of the current World Hunger Resource Packet and issue of LifeLines, send an e-mail with your postal address to hunger@elca.org or call 800/638-3522, ext. 2764.]]>
OWH Headline
Upon reading the sentence next to the image, I immediately thought, "Some people also have concerns that Council Bluffs doesn't sufficiently reflect Iowans. So what?"
:-)
And then I realized it is a good thing that Jesus died for me and all of my sins.....and Council-tucky's, too.
:-)
ACK! I can't stop!]]>
Creepy Baby Jacob]]>
September 2, 2008
Lutheran Disaster Response in the Eye of 2008 Hurricane Season
08-151-FI
CHICAGO (ELCA) -- Members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) are responding in the aftermath of tropical storms and hurricanes, waiting to assess the damage of Hurricane Gustav and preparing for the remainder of the 2008 hurricane season. "We are in difficult days," said the Rev. Kevin A. Massey, director, Lutheran Disaster Response (LDR).
"It is important for us all to stay in close communication with each other, to remain deeply in prayer for the needs of people both already affected and potentially affected, and especially to consider giving to the work of Lutheran Disaster Response," he said. LDR is a collaborative ministry of the ELCA and the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod.
Hurricane Gustav made landfall Sept. 1 on the Louisiana Gulf Coast. "We appreciate Bishop Michael Rinehart and the leadership of the ELCA Texas-Louisiana Gulf Coast Synod and Bishop Julian Gordy and the ELCA Southeastern Synod for the excellent job they are doing in responding to this disaster," Massey said. The synods have maintained communication with pastors and other church leaders who evacuated their homes, he said.
"The good thing about many people getting out and being evacuated is that they were safe. It will take some time, as they return slowly to their homes, for us to learn more and more about the needs of the people in the Gulf area," Massey said. "It may take many weeks before we are able to identify the ways that volunteers will be able to help."
"Whether tropical storms or hurricanes, we're seeing an incredible impact across the country," Massey said. "It is a reminder that we are all in this together. The whole country is
being affected and, as we've done before, we will all work together to respond."
Hurricane Dolly struck Texas on July 23. "We're still working in areas around there," Massey said.
"Tropical Storm Fay had a significant impact on parts of Florida," he said. "Lutheran Disaster Response Team Florida has been doing a great job responding with our partners in Thrivent Financial for Lutherans and the ELCA Florida-Bahamas Synod. We've been helping coordinate production of flood buckets that people are able to use to help clean out their own homes."
"Areas of Florida are very wet, and there is standing water in many places," Massey said. "With the threat of additional storms, it is a very scary time."
Lutherans across the church are "very aware that many storms can affect us in the days and weeks to come," he said. "Tropical Storm Hanna is expected to be a hurricane when it will reach the eastern seaboard of the United States somewhere between Georgia and the Carolinas, possibly as early as this Friday. Tropical Storms Ike and Josephine are forming in the Atlantic."
"There is great leadership in all of our synods, and we appreciate the work they have already done in preparing," Massey said. LDR staff will continue to be in conversation with them this week, he said.
"We will seek to provide help and healing to people affected by these storms, and we ask for people to consider giving. Please visit ELCA.org/disaster for information about giving to
help people affected by these storms," Massey said.
-- -- --
Audio of comments by the Rev. Kevin A. Massey is at http://media.ELCA.org/audionews/080902a.mp3 and http://media.ELCA.org/audionews/080902b.mp3 on the ELCA Web site.
DOMESTIC DISASTERS:
Editors: When listing organizations receiving funds to aid survivors of major disasters inside the United States, Puerto Rico or the U.S. Virgin Islands, please include:
ELCA Domestic Disaster Response
P.O. Box 71764
Chicago, Illinois 60694-1764
Credit card gift line: 1-800-638-3522
Credit card gifts via Internet: http://www.ELCA.org/disaster
For information contact:
John Brooks, Director (773) 380-2958 or news@elca.org
http://www.elca.org/news
ELCA News Blog: http://www.elca.org/news/blog]]>
And then realize that of course John McCain isn't going to remember how many houses he owns currently. That's because he's probably lived in tons of homes during the 200+ years he's been alive.
Don't bother grandpa while he's watching his stories. He gets confused easily. Remember? See the SNL digital short to refresh your own aging memory.
]]>
The audio of the video comes from a sermon by Dr. Shadrach Meshach (S.M.) Lockridge (March 7, 1913 – April 4, 2000), who was the Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church, a prominent African-American congregation located in San Diego, California, from 1953 to 1993. He was known for his preaching across the United States and around the world. I had heard part of this audio before, but not in this remix video version.
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Learn more at http://www.tourderevs.org]]>
I'm in search of the letter Y off of the Subway game pieces for the 2008 Summer/Fall Sweepstakes.
If you find a Y game piece and you don't have a use for it, take the Y, put it in a safe place, contact me, and then we'll go from there. If you have a legit Y game piece, and the code hasn't been punched into the website yet, I'll take your game piece and become your new best friend.
Good luck, and I look forward to hearing from you soon! :-)
Play Subway Scrabble]]>
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
]]>Study confirms 'Kevin Bacon' theory
Six Degress of separation is true! Well....Seven...
And for your Tremors/Kevin Bacon viewing enjoyment, check out this video:
]]>
Whereas McCain and Obama are just a couple of jokers.
]]>
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He called the local extension office, which gave him a list of honey bee keepers, and he called down the list, and someone showed up with a box and got a bunch of free bees. Lucky keeper.
]]>
Those poor boys...they didn't even see it coming...]]>
The info on this video from YouTube says: They say it's from 1993 Miss Douglas County Arizona, for the Arizona State Beauty Pageant.]]>
Priest Floating Away
Both probably ended up in heaven. Guess we'll have to wait and see.
Read the news story here.]]>
I'm thinking about changing to WordPress (a different kind of blogging software), but sadly, from what I can tell, there's no easy migration plan between Nucleus and WordPress (that means I wouldn't be able to easily put all of my old posts into the "new" blog).
I've liked Nucleus for the most part, but lately, I've heard that other people are getting the following error:
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Connect Error
Could not connect to MySQL database.
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I get the error, too, and it's no fun.
Hmmm....looks like I'm going to have to work on this another day.
]]>
So if, for some reason, FrontRowLutheran.com goes down, well....now you know why. It'll be because I unintentionally messed something up.
:-)
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The winner is Benjamin J. Ahles-Iverson, who is a senior at Wartburg Theological Seminary in Dubuque, Iowa.
Above: Ben's Facebook Picture
As the winner, Ben has earned exclusive bragging rights for winning The 2008 Lutheran Pool sponsored by FrontRowLutheran.com, and he also earned this shout-out post here on FrontRowLutheran.com.
And here is what Ben would like to shout-out to everyone. Ben writes:
First, I would like to shout out a big ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!!!!!!!!!!
Every time I watch the Chalmers shot, I'm amazed that it still goes in. I probably could watch the game again and still be as excited as the first time I watched it.
I was sure I was going to be heart broken yet again this year. Davidson looked like they might do it. North Carolina looked like they might do it. And Memphis should have done it. BUT!!!! Kansas had to beat two No. 1 seeds in the tournament - a tournament for the ages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again, congratulations to Ben, and thank you to everyone who played!]]>